Monday, January 4, 2010


Today, I feel as though my soul has been rejuvenated. I hate this time of year. I hated it before losing Dashiell. The days are generally cold and gray. There are no holidays to look forward to. It just seems to drag until Spring nears and the daylight lasts longer. Having lost Dash on Christmas day gave me a whole new reason to detest this time of year. I returned to work 8 days after giving birth to him. In retrospect, I realize how stupid that was. When I think of this time of year, it brings me back to sitting at my desk alone at American Express crying all day long. Last year, although much better, was still really rough. I found out that I was losing my job on 1/14. Kannon was in the ER on 2/2 and my back deteriorated beyond the point of no return on that same day.

That said, I feel like today is the first day of Spring. Why, you ask? Because yesterday, for the first time since August 2008, I had a date with Glenn! To make it even better, the date consisted of a wonderful Broadway show (Ragtime) and dinner at an Italian restaurant. The show was fantastic. Ironically, Glenn and I saw the original Ragtime almost 12 years ago to the day, on 12/31/97. It brought me back to that time, which to be honest, did make me a little sad. I was an actress auditioning full force back then. Now, I'm the right age for my type and I can't help but to wonder what my life would have been like had I trudged through and stuck with it. On the flip side, I most likely would not have Kannon or Dash.

The show resonated with me in an whole new way now that I am a mother. I heard so many of the lyrics, which I've heard a million times, in a new way. The subject matter is particularly relevant now, given the economic meltdown, Obama as president, etc. It reminds me how far we have come, but how far we still have to go.

At any rate, I thoroughly enjoyed the show and sitting in a dark theater holding Glenn's hand. On the way home, we called to see how Kannon was and my dear friend, who was watching Kannon, suggested that we go out to dinner. At that moment, the heavens opened up and I heard angelic music. Really? Dinner at a restaurant with my husband? Can this be happening? We enjoyed ourselves immensely. When we got home, Kannon was sleeping. Of course, he woke up several times in the night with the teething and all, but I really didn't care. Yesterday was a fantastic day. Thank you, Taifa & Paul for the best present ever!!!

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