First Thanksgiving

It has been entirely too long since my last post. This has been a crazy year of extreme anxiety, anger, hope, despair and joy. My back surgery was a success, but I am still recovering, to a degree. My health insurance company decided that I did not need any more physical therapy and cut me off in July. I started back in April 2x/week. Ironically, I was almost done and getting ready to be discharged. There were several weeks of regression. Things are still up and down, but so much better.

Kannon has been the most incredible blessing I could ever ask for. It's hard to believe that one year ago today, we were trying to imagine bringing a living baby home from the hospital. Now we have a vibrant, charismatic little guy who filled my world with beauty and color after the darkest year of my life.

Kannon has been walking for about 3 weeks on his own. He currently has 6 teeth and several others coming in. We go to the doctor next week for his one year appointment, so we'll learn about his stats then, but he is big! About 3 months ago, he started climbing and he's super crafty about it! He will push toys or books over to the couch or bed, pile them up and climb right up. The other day, Glenn went into the bathroom for a minute, literally, to put his pants on. When he walkedd back in, Kannon was standing on top of the couch waving the remote in the air! He claps, waves "bye bye", loves "the little einsteins" (the only show he's allowed to sparingly watch) and will even pat with them when rocket takes off. He's also constantly babbling - definitely Judy Mayne's grandchild! It sounds like his own language, but I think he really does say "hi". He also says "dada" and was saying "mama" 4 months ago, but has kind of stopped!

I try to teach him sign language, but he thinks it's hillarious. He laughs and has quite a sense of humor. He generally goes to sleep around 7:30pm, wakes for a bottle around 5-5:30 and will go back down until 7-7:30. Next week, we begin the weaning from the bottle - joy! Between that and teething, I think we're in for no sleep.

I finally got not one, but two job offers back in September. One from Columbia University Business School as business manager of the external relations office and one from the Hospital for Special Surgery as Assistant Director of Ambassador Services. The hospital job paid A LOT more than Columbia, but I loved the people at Columbia, as well as the short commute and relaxed, family friendly atmosphere. It was not an easy choice. I would have been working with the VIP patients at the hospital and I was truly interested in the ability I would have had to impact patients' recovery and overall experience, but having worked with that echelon of people before, I know that your schedule is dictated by their schedule. Also, the commute was 1 hour each way. That, combined with working longer hours was not worth the extra money to me. I fought so hard to get Kannon here safely. What sense would it make for me to miss his life?

I started at Columbia in October and hired a sitter for Kannon. He loves her and the transition was much harder for me than it was for her. The job is wonderful. I'm learning things I never thought I would even be interested in. The best benefit of all is that I have the opportunity to go back to school (an Ivy league school, no less) for free to get a Masters degree. In what, I do not yet know, but I am sure I will take advantage of the opportunity.

Nothing makes me happier than coming home to my little guy an seeing that smile. I feel like I'm back in the land of the living again. It is so nice to have regular daily conversations with adults! Don't get me wrong, if we could swing it financially, I would stay home with him in a heartbeat, but if I have to work, I'm definitely in the right place.

So, Kannon will turn 1 on Wednesday. We were planning to take him to the Bronx Zoo that night to see the holiday lights, but it turns out that they aren't doing the holiday lights this year! They are lighting the tree at Rockefeller Center that night, but I do NOT want to navigate that crowd, especially with H1N1 around. I'm thinking that we'll just celebrate at home and watch the tree lighting on TV. The big party is on Saturday! I can't believe my guy is one!

So this Thanksgiving, although I have already cried my tears for Dashiell, I am so thankful for my beautiful family, my job, Lucy, my friends, this apartment and for my optimism. Without that, I would not have made it through this year.